GROWING UP EACH DAY WITHOUT REALIZING
remember being a child (some of us still are, but here i mean the youngest versions) watching all the adults do their adult thing? Do you remember how you would/will think ‘man I’m going to be a class adult, I’m gonna have it all figured out. I’m going to be rich, have an amazing spouse, be the perfect parent, have perfect health, drive a nice car, live in a big house, great job, never get myself into debt and I’ll always have the name brand/good snacks around? most of it, the perfect, everything figured out and a zero problematic life. Then fast forward, you’re in your late 20/30s, hating yourself while you over indulge on the good snacks and realize that so far, that’s it, that’s all that’s come true and that at some point, without you noticing or your consent for that matter, you became one of those grown up things but you have NOTHING FIGURED OUT AT ALL. It’s probably one of the most terrifying experiences, most of us have to endure.
yeah, remember the last time you held your parent's hand so tightly and cried 'cause you just didn't felt like leaving them for school. (me)
beginning from which, we having late night parties with friends, wanting to hang out with only them but nobody else, going and doing whatever in the world we felt like without even giving them the consent about it.
We've grown up, some of us are still growing up each day without actually realizing it. Millions and millions of responsibilities would have to be carried out by you once people'd see to it that you have aged more today than yesterday. which is why in the fear, people like me for once would want to be young forever while the next moment, seeking to be growing up just as soon as it possibly can take place in the never ending greed to be allowed doing more and more of what I wanted.
"Man, lets just grow up, would do whatever we wanted without actually giving a damn on asking for it from them (parents)"
*yeah sadly thats kind of so me* ;(
On the outside you look totally fine, all other adults think you’re just like them meanwhile your head regularly explodes with ‘I’m not one of you, I’m an impostor!!! WHERE DID THE TIME GO? How in the name of love of god did I manage to past ten years eating cereal, watching TV? And most of it, crying at reasons which weren't worth it. What on heck am I even doing with my life? OH MY GOD! The clock is ticking! I need more money, I need a ‘real’ job, I need to get in shape, I want someone to love me, if I have kids now I’ll be so old when they’re my age, wait do I want kids? I’m a kid, I don’t want to give up on my obsession of cartoons, when was the last time I went to the dentist? Should I just get a health check up sometimes? Look at all these real grown ups, they’re nailing life with their crease free clothing and did someone literally just say the word mortgage? OH god, what have I been doing? Shit they’re looking at me, don’t let them know, just act exhausted from being an adult and excuse yourself.
while your parents: "act your age, you've grown up enough to understand this, need not to act as if you're still the crybaby"
at next
"YOU ARE STILL A DAMN CHILD. GROW UP FIRST FOR THE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO NOW"
how COMPLETELY COMPLICATED IT FEELS. DOESN'T IT?
it's hurting, way more than hurting sometimes.
"parents, aah damn- they'd never understand bro. leave their crap and lets grow up for the real times fun and for the real world"
while you grow up in the fear that when people'd just start saying, that according to your age, you are just not ENOUGH for it. JUST NOT ACTING ENOUGH JUST NOT DOING ENOUGH.
It's messed up, through all ways.
~ kanchita
THANK YOU ❤️
Comments
Post a Comment